apuarius:

Today my dad told me he was hungry and I looked at him and said “hey hungry I’m daughter” and he was kinda shocked

korrastoe:

Do you ever love a character whose a real asshole so you wait for a tragic backstory that’ll allow you to love him/her with a clear conscience but there is no backstory and they’re naturally garbage and youre liKe FUCK IT IT STILL LOVE YOU, YOU LITTLE PEICE OF SHIT!!!

funnybrunette:

do you just ever get so mad that you mentally insult every single thing that people do around you

like 

"hey i finished this question" good for you little fucking brat like wow didnt anyone teach you not to boast

demoriel:

there are some people that i follow that i’m never unfollowing. like it’s ride or die at this point we’re in this together 4 life

I found these fucking glasses on the beach last night. They’re perfect for my vision. I HATE glasses but the more I wear these old man motherfuckers; the more I like them.

I found these fucking glasses on the beach last night. They’re perfect for my vision. I HATE glasses but the more I wear these old man motherfuckers; the more I like them.

  • mom: don't eat the cookies yet, they just came out of the oven and are too hot
  • me: fire cannot kill a dragon